Today’s story has a rather poopy and probably inappropriate twist (too much information comes to mind). But living in Indonesia your bathroom habits become an everyday discussion point and if you have sakit perut you can just tell anyone. Sakit perut if you don’t know is the same as Bali Belly, Dheli Belly and any other belly you can get. Basically, it’s food or water poisoning at its worst.
This week unfortunately I’ve been struck down by a bout of it. I have no idea what it was from – maybe food, maybe water not being boiled properly – all I know I’ve been rather sick with it for a few days and I’m sick of it (no pun intended). Obviously, living in Jogja there is a high risk of getting sakit perut, and with questionable cooking and cleaning methods, not to mention unclean water, it was inevitable I would get a case at some point. However, I’ve gone nearly three months with nothing and maybe getting a bit to blasé about the whole situation. All I can say is NOT ANYMORE.
It all started on Monday (I think) when I was sitting in a café trying to finish a ridiculously long assignment and write a presentation for the following day. Sudden pains in my stomach indicated that something wasn’t quite right. I practically ran to the bathroom , receiving several curious stares as to why the bule was running. Hmmmmm. After doing my business and not feeling to great I realized that unfortunately there was no toilet paper, as is the usual situation for Indonesian toilets, and in my haste to get to the bathroom I’d forgotton my tissues (and I thought the day couldn’t get worse). I was left with no choice but to wash Indonesian style with water – splashing it all over myself nonetheless. Woops. Just another crazy bule.
Now, Indonesia has a ridiculous number of squat toilets which usually I don’t mind using, but let me tell you when you have sakit perut you do NOT want to be using one. Squatting on a toilet numerous times a day is NOT fun, although your legs do get a good work out. Not only do you have to aim but you also have to do it with skill so as to prevent splash back. You then have to flush it manually using a bucket and a scope to flush out all the poop. Gross.
After about two days of sakit perut, I had to use the toilets in INCULS. Damn my digestion. Well the toilets in INCULS are disgusting, probably some of the worst on campus. They’re always blocked because us stupid bules can’t read signs and put toilet paper in the toilets. This would be fine if they were toilets like those in Australia but they aren’t. The pipes are thinner so as soon as there is too much paper, usually be about 11am, they’re blocked.
So I headed off to the bathroom to do my business again and alas the toilets are blocked again – not that I realized this. I went to the bathroom as per usual and guess what I can’t flush it. INCULS also lacks the bucket facilities and tap normal Indonesian toilets have so I’m stuck there with a blocked toilet full of poop. What do I do? Leave? Tell someone???? Try and fix the situation myself? My solution, use the spray hose (used to spray yourself clean) to flush the poop. Not preferable considering it took about 30minutes. O well, it’s done now.
Now, I think that’s enough poop stories for one day, and I’m pooped (shit I love Aussie slang). Happy pooping everyone.
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